Not How I Planned
by Sailor C
Summary: What will happen to our dear Serena when her life doesn't go exactly the way that she thought it would? Please r&r!


A.N.(please bear with me)  
  
Hi there everybody!  
  
I know, I know. What am I doing starting another story when I haven't finished my first one? But I've had this idea running through my head and I kind of have writer's block on my other story. But I pretty much know where I want to go with this one so hopefully all of the chapters will come out fairly frequently. I hope! ^__^ I know that other people have done the whole 'Scouts kick out Serena and she runs away' storyline but I promise this one will be different. Trust me! I hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I am enjoying writing it. Please let me know what you think by reviewing my story or by e-mailing me.   
  
Approximate time: This takes place pretty soon after the Black Moon Family has showed up. They don't know that Reenie is Serena and Darien's child and they haven't met the outers yet. This won't follow the original storyline though. Blame my author's creativity.   
  
Oh and the story will all be told from Serena's point-of-view though there will be parts told from other point-of-views but I will tell you when that happens.   
  
Disclaimer: As much as it hurts me to say it, I do not own Sailor Moon.   
  
Not How I Planned   
By: dandycb  
dandycb@yahoo.com  
PG-13  
  
  
(Begins immediately following a fight with a monster)  
  
***Serena's Point-Of-View***  
  
"I've got to hurry. The Scouts need my help." I kept telling myself this hoping that I would make it to the fight in time. I had just gotten the message on my communicator from Raye saying that there was a monster at the park and that I needed to get there as soon as possible. I don't know how long ago she had left it but I knew it had probably been a long time.   
  
"Mars Firebird Attack!" "Venus Lovechain Encircle" I had just reached the park when I heard Mar's and Venus' attacks being yelled so I began to run toward where their voices were coming from.   
  
As soon as I got there I realized that Mercury was laying on the ground unconscious. It looked like there she was laying in a pool of her own blood so I immediately screamed out "Moon Gorgeous Meditation!" The monster turned into dust and I began to run toward where Mercury was laying but when I looked at the others' faces, I stopped dead in my tracks. They had looks of disappointment, anger, and hatred on their faces.   
  
"Where were you Sailor Moon?! What could you have possibly been doing that was more important than helping us to defeat that thing?" Raye screamed.  
  
"I'm sorry Mars, but I got here as fast as I could. I was..." I began to reply but was cut off by Lita.  
  
"There are no excuses for it this time! Mercury got hurt really bad and we need to get her to the hospital. You really messed up this time Serena. We really needed your help sooner." Lita accused.  
  
"I'm sorry Lita but if you all will just let me explain what happened..." I tried to say but I was cut off again.  
  
"No Serena! Like Lita said, 'No more excuses'. You're not fit to be our leader!" screamed Raye.  
  
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Mina do you feel this way?" I asked while looking the only scout who hadn't said anything to me yet.   
  
"Yes, Serena I do. You should have been here sooner. Raye called you over an hour ago. Nothing should have kept you from being here much sooner. People depend on you." Mina said.  
  
"Lita, do you agree with her?" I questioned. My voice sounded like it was about to break which would only be right because my heart was breaking with every word they threw at me.  
  
"I agree with them and I'm sure if Mercury could talk then she would to." Lita said.  
  
"Darien, surely you don't agree with them. You must know that I got here as soon as I could. Just let me explain. Please?!" I begged him while praying that he wouldn't turn against me too because I knew if he did then my heart would shatter.  
  
"I thought I knew you Serena, but I guess I was wrong. I would never have thought that you would have let your friends get hurt but I have seen it with my own eyes so yes I agree with them that you should no longer be their leader. We can't take away your powers or else we would but you should no longer be in charge though you never acted the part of a leader anyway." Darien's cold voice said.   
  
I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to sit down and scream until I could wake up from this nightmare but how do you wake up when you're already awake? I just looked at each one of them and saw in their eyes that they meant every word that they had just said and something in me broke. "Fine! So be it! If you don't want me than I don't want any of you! I will no longer be your leader but I will also no longer be Sailor Moon. I will not help you in the fights or protect any of you. Have fun fighting the Black Moon Family by yourselves. Darien I thought that you loved me but if you did than you would have let me explain what happened to make me so late but you didn't. I don't want to see any of you ever again!" I screamed and ran back to my house.   
  
As I ran, everything that had happened tonight kept replaying itself in my head and I knew that I couldn't stay in Tokyo anymore. I knew that I wouldn't be able to take seeing them everyday for the rest of my life. I ran into my house and up to my room without anyone seeing me. Mother must have heard me though because I heard her asking me where I had been this late at night. I went up to my room and changed into different clothes. I had locked the door and I was ignoring anything and everyone. Mom came up to my room and told me to open the door so that she could talk to me but I refused and told her to leave me alone. I decided to wait until everyone was asleep and then I would sneak out of my house and leave this town forever. I was so deep in my thoughts and misery that I didn't even realize that Luna had come into the room through the window until I heard her speak.   
  
"Serena, what is the matter with you? I was over at Mina's house with Artemis and she just came home and told me what happened. Lita, Darien, and Raye took Amy to the hospital and she wanted to tell the two of us what had happened before she went there herself. Why weren't you there when they needed you Serena?" Luna said.   
  
I could tell that she was disappointed in me by the sound of her voice. "I'm sorry Luna. I didn't mean to disappoint you but I got there as fast as I could but I didn't even know about the fight for a long time because...because..." I fell down on the floor with heart wrenching sobs. I didn't want to tell her the reason that I was late but I knew I had to or else everyone would turn against me and as much as Luna can get on my nerves at times, I really wanted her to understand and not hate me.   
  
I think Luna realized that something was wrong as soon as I fell on the floor crying because the next thing I knew she was rubbing up against my side as if she were trying to give me some comfort. Her voice was a lot more gentle than it had been when she asked "Serena what happened? Did you get hurt? Are you okay?"  
  
I looked at her and saw that she really was worried so I decided to tell her what had caused me to be late no matter how shaky my voice sounded. "Luna s...something h...happened to me earlier. I was out taking a walk because I really needed to think about some things. I mainly wanted to think about why the Black Moon Family is after Reenie and who she could be. I had just started back home w...w...when somebody grabbed me from behind. H...he put his hand over my mouth and dragged me to a nearby alley. I was so scared. I kept trying to fight him but it didn't do any good and I couldn't reach my broach because my arms were pinned to my sides. He was holding me from behind so I couldn't even see his face. I was so scared Luna and I couldn't get away no matter how hard I fought. He told me to settle down and be quiet or else he would k...kill me. He started t...t...touching me all over and I started fighting him harder but he was much stronger than I was. I kept hoping that somebody would come along and help me but nobody did. He warned me again that he would k...kill me if I didn't stop fighting him. He said that it would be much easier for him if I was d...dead and that I needed to realize that. He said that I would e...enjoy it more if I didn't fight him. He started t...taking off my c...clothes. He p...pushed me up against the wall and I heard him u...undo his p...pants and I guess I passed out then because the next thing I can remember is waking up and being by myself in the alley. I was n...naked and I put my clothes on as fast as I could but they were dirty and torn in some places. I heard a sound and thought that he was coming back but I realized that it was my communicator beeping at me. I turned it on and saw Raye's message. I transformed and ran to the park as fast as I could. I promise Luna. I hurried. I didn't mean to put the others in danger. Please forgive me Luna. I know it was my fault that Amy got hurt and if I hadn't been out walking by myself than this never would have happened. I'm so sorry." I stammered. I hadn't looked up the entire time that I was talking but now I looked up at Luna to see what her reaction was.  
  
"Oh my god! Serena it wasn't your fault that that monster did that to you or that Amy got hurt. You put the others first in your mind even after what happened to you. I'm so sorry Serena. That should never have happened to you. You didn't deserve that. No one does. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you Serena." Luna said.   
  
At this point she launched herself into my arms and started crying. I could hear her muffled pleas for my forgiveness. "Thank you for forgiving me Luna and you don't need to ask my forgiveness for anything. You didn't do anything wrong." I told her. I could tell that she was going to repeat that it wasn't my fault but I disagreed and so I interrupted her before she could say anything. "Luna, I need to get away from here. I can't face the other scouts after what happened and I don't know if I can ever face Darien again. I don't want my family to know about this either. You are the only person that I will tell. I'm going to use all the money that I have been putting away for a rainy day and buy a plane ticket to the United States. Please don't tell anyone what happened to me and please come with me Luna. You have always been like a mother to me both on the moon and during this life. Please come Luna. I really need you with me."   
  
Luna looked up at me from her spot in my arms and said, "Of course Serena I will go with you and if you don't want me to tell anyone what happened to you then I wont. I love you as if you were my own daughter. I know I may not act like it at times but I do. When do we leave?"  
  
"I want to leave as soon as my family falls asleep. I need to get some things packed but first I am going to go take a long, hot shower. Why don't you try to get some sleep, Luna? We will have to leave in the middle of the night and it might be a while before we get to sleep." I replied. I got some clothes to change into and after checking that no one was in the hall I ran into the bathroom. I locked the door and jumped into the tub. I needed to wash his touch off of me. I still couldn't believe what had happened to me and I kept trying to push the thoughts of it to the back of my mind. I knew that if I dwelled on it now that I would never be able to stop crying. I didn't agree with Luna about this not being my fault. If I hadn't been out this late, then this wouldn't have happened to me and if I had been a better leader and person before, then maybe my being late this time wouldn't have caused the others to turn on me. 'Everything's my fault and everyone will be much better off without me around.' I thought to myself. I had turned the hot water on so high that I was turning red but I didn't care. I just wanted to scour his touch off of my skin. As soon as I saw the blood on my thighs I almost lost control of my emotions. The crushing weight of everything that I had lost tonight was almost overwhelming. After about thirty more minutes, I realized that I better get out the shower before mom comes up to check on me again. I turned off the water, dried off, put the pair of baggy pants and the old shirt I had with me on and ran back into my room. I locked the door and got out my suitcase. I put in all the essentials that I thought I would need. I got my savings out of its hiding place in my closet. Just as I was shutting my suitcase I looked up and saw my pictures of my dresser. I went and grabbed the picture I had out of Molly and I with our arms around each other's shoulder and both of us smiling. I picked up the pictures I had out of my parents, Sammy, Reenie, and I all together looking like the perfect family. As much as Sammy and Reenie drive me crazy at times, I knew that I would miss them terrible. The last picture that I took off of the dresser was one that had been taken just days ago at the park. My friends and I had been on a picnic and we had someone passing by take a picture for us. Andrew was sitting on the ground with Rita in his arms. Amy, Mina, Lita, Raye, and Reenie were all standing behind them making faces at the camera and Darien and I were sitting on the ground. We were the only two no looking at the camera. We were busy gazing into each other's eyes. It looked like we were so in love. I guess looks really can be deceiving. I put all of the pictures in my suitcase so that I have some reminders of happier times and close the lid. Luna is asleep on the window seat. I sit down at my desk and get out some paper. I need to leave my family some sort of message so that they won't be as worried about me. I write:  
  
Dear Family,  
  
By the time you read this note, I will be gone from Tokyo. Maybe for forever I don't know. Please don't come looking for me. You won't be able to find me and of that I am sure. I love you all very much. Yes, even you Sammy. You are a great brother and I will miss you. Thank you mom and dad for always being there for me and for loving me. You are the best family that I could have ever hoped for. Reenie be assured that I do love you and no matter how often I called you a "little spore" know that I have always cared about you. I am going away because of any of you. I have had a falling out with some people who I thought would always be there for me but tonight I have found out otherwise. I must tell you now that I have been keeping a secret from you for quite some time now. I, Serena Tsukino, am the one and only Sailor Moon. I know that you all will find this hard to believe but it is true. Reenie can tell you that it is because she caught me transforming one day. This will explain why I have acted the way I have these last several months. I can no longer trust the Scouts or Tuxedo Mask. They broke my heart and I really need to get away from them all. Once again I love you all and hopefully I will see you all again soon. Please don't be sad and be happy for me instead.   
  
Love your daughter, sister, and friend.  
  
Serena (a.k.a. Sailor Moon)  
  
I had to tell them who I really am because the lies had been tearing me up inside. Maybe now they would be able to understand why I had to leave. I got out some more paper and started writing the hardest not of all. It reads:  
  
Dear Scouts and Tuxedo Mask,  
  
I know that you probably won't care but I felt that I should write this anyway. I'm leaving. You were right I wasn't a good enough leader but I still deserved the chance to explain. You won't have to worry anymore about me getting in the way anymore though because as I said earlier Sailor Moon will not fight with you anymore. Don't look for Luna or me because we will be far from Tokyo and I promise you that none of you will ever have to look upon my face again. Good luck with the fight against the Black Moon Family. Hopefully without my interference you will no have no problem against them at all. Good luck to whoever the new leader may be.   
  
Goodbye,  
  
Sailor Moon (a.k.a. Princess Serenity)   
  
Dear Amy, Raye, Mina, Lita, Artemis, and Darien,  
  
I thought it appropriate to write a separate letter to you because at times you seem to be almost different people than your warrior halves. I know in this decision, however, both of your identities agreed. No matter how you feel about me, know that I will always love and respect you all. I can't blame you for the things you said because you all were right in that I am not a good person, friend, or leader. For this I am sorry. I forgive you all but I can't forget that what you all said to me broke my heart. Maybe I deserved that but I know because of that I can't stay here anymore. Please do me one favor if ever any of you cared about me at all. Please watch after Reenie. I will miss her so much. I know you may decide that she would be better off living with one of you but please let her stay with my family. Don't make them lose two people from their lives at the same time. Luna as I said in the first letter will be going with me. She gave me a chance to explain and she understands why I was late.   
  
Amy, I want you to know that I pray with all of my heart and soul, or at least what is left of them, that you will be okay. I never would have let you get hurt if I could have helped it. I would take all of your pain upon myself if I could but I can't. I'm sorry.   
  
Darien, I release you from our bond. I will always love you but it is for the best if we both move on with our lives, or at least try to in my case.   
  
Raye, no matter how much we argued, I always considered you one of my best friends. I am sorry for not living up to your standards.   
  
Lita, I wish that I could have been as strong as you are but I failed in that also.   
  
Mina, your bubbly personality could make anyone one smile. I am sorry for taking that smile off of your face for even one moment.   
  
Artemis, I am sorry for taking Luna away from you. I know that you liked her even if you won't admit it. I know it's selfish but I really need her with me. Maybe you will be able to see her again one day. Please take care of them and advise them well.   
  
In case any of you for some unexplainable reason want to find me, don't bother. No one, not even my family, will know where I am. Good luck with all of your dreams and may you all find the happiness that I was unable to find in this lifetime.   
  
Love forever,  
  
Your once friend and girlfriend   
  
After I finished the letters, I got up from my desk and went to check if anyone was still awake. The house was dark and I could hear snoring from my parent's and Sammy's rooms. I was glad that Reenie was staying the night at her friend Mika's house. That way I wouldn't have to worry about her coming into my room to get in bed with me and finding me gone before I even had the chance to get out of Tokyo. I change into some nicer clothes and go to wake Luna. I grab my suitcase and the letters and Luna and I begin to tiptoe down the stairs. I hope that I won't wake anyone up. Me walking towards the front door with my cat and suitcase in my hand was not something that I wanted to explain in person. At the bottom of the stairs, I stop and take the note for my family into the kitchen and place it on the table. This way they will see it in the morning. I take one last look at my house and then Luna and I walk out of the door. Luna had called a taxi for us and he is waiting in front of the house when we step outside. I quietly shut the door and we get into the taxi. I ask him to drive me to the shrine and he does. When we get there, I ask him to wait a second and I run up to the temple. I take the note that I had written for Darien and the Scouts and place it in a place where I hope Raye will find it. I then run back to the taxi. I ask him to take me to the airport now and he does. I pay him and go inside. Right before we got to the airport, I put Luna into the empty duffel bag that I had with me. This way I could sneak her on the plane with me and she wouldn't have to ride in a pet cage. I know that I want to go to America but I don't really have a preference as to where in America so I just ask for the first available flight into the country. The lady behind the counter says that there is a flight leaving for New York in forty-five minutes. I tell that I want a ticket for that flight and pay her the money. I then check in my suitcase and walk toward the gate for my flight with my duffel bag in hand. I give the lady at the gate my ticket and I walk onto the plane not before taking one last look out of the window at Tokyo, the place where I used to live.   
  
End of Chapter 1  
  
  
A.N. (Yes, there's more of them.)  
  
Please let me know what you all think. I welcome comments and criticisms. Let me know if you think anything should be a little different. I will try to accommodate you if I can. PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! I live for reviews. Not really but oh well. You can also e-mail me if you want to.   



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